This particular day was chock-full of frustration for Greg, and his desire to come home and relax by getting some new footage for our new YouTube channel (dedicated to cooperative gaming as a married couple), came to a screeching halt. We had moved our most powerful PC downstairs to record, but as soon as Greg tried to turn it on, he was met with a blank screen and an annoying error sound coming from the motherboard.
Now, when it comes to these things, my husband no doubt gets angry, but usually, I would get so stressed that I would ask endless questions until he would snap at me. Snapping at a Borderline when she is in an already vulnerable state is a big no-no. In most situations this would lead to me bawling my eyes out, saying how much I hate my life, and typically jumping straight to suicide as a solution for the current dilemma.
When our night was ruined by an unfortunate event, I was as cool as a cucumber. In fact, I had to constantly pull ridiculous positives to soften my husband's mood. I also had to use my "Wisemind" so that I could be rational despite my husband's fury. After hours of dissecting our PC, and exchanging parts amongst other PC's in the house, we found out our $400 graphics card had fried. My husband was distraught, not only about the potential money we would lose, but also because of the time we had lost by dealing with this predicament. I kept offering positives. The exchange went a little something like this.
Greg: Bah! This SUCKS! I can't believe my graphics card took a crap.
Dana: Well at least we had my PC we could pull another card from so we could continue to record our footage.
Greg: Of course I would have a shitty day, then come home to this. OF COURSE! What a waste of my time!
Dana: Hey, well at least we were working together towards a common goal instead of fighting like we sometimes do. Also, wouldn't you have been more upset if this happened during your vacation in a couple days?
Because I stayed in my "Wisemind" I was able to quickly problem solve. I pulled up the invoice from when we purchased the graphics card two years ago, and guess what? We had a lifetime warranty on it.
Had I been in the zone I usually am in whilst during a crisis, considering Greg was also in crisis mode, we most likely would have dropped money we don't have on a new card, then where would we be? By staying calm, I could rationalize and solve the problem. I thought nothing of my progress until after Greg posted something on Facebook (edited for grammar and punctuation):
I have the best wife in the world. Not only did she stick with me all night to keep calming me down, but also called EVGA and her dad to help us. Without her, I would be super angry and upset with the world. She's a keeper guys. Keep reading her blog posts. This woman is unbelievable in her triumphs and I am so proud of her. Love you Dana!
Greg was in disbelief at my ability to stay calm, almost to the point of denial. In fact, he kept saying, "Something bad is gonna happen! I KNOW IT!" He was determined that I was going to go full "Fatal Attraction" crazy on him. I did have to remind him that there were going to be moments that were harder for me than this particular scenario, but the fact I was able to actually be rational for once in a major crises, is a huge accomplishment.
With today being our anniversary, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have a husband who has held my hand through my worst break downs. Every nightmare, flashback, tantrum, suicidal moment, disassociation...he was there to ground me to reality. I am just glad that for once in our four years of marriage, I was the one to provide the gift of serenity.
I love you Gregory, and I thank you for being my partner in life. I think after these past couple of weeks, I can confidently say, "Don't worry, I am not going anywhere."
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