“It pained my family and friends to remember. To acknowledge my experience might bring up what they hoped I had forgotten—that terrible day, those hours of horror. They hoped to spare me that. For me to remind them that I had not forgotten seemed unkind, even cruel, because I knew they needed to believe I had. Our rite was, therefore, silence.”
Another reason for my silence, and for many women's silence, is the perpetuating mythology behind rape.
"It isn't rape unless there is significant injury"
Poppycock. A majority of rapes committed result in no physical injury. My experience was in that majority. He was cunning and knew how to avoid any obvious signs of abuse.
"Rapes are committed by strangers at night in dark alleys"
Also wrong. 73% of sexual assaults are committed by a non-stranger. 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance. 28% are intimate. 7% are relative. (Taken from rainn.org). In my case, it was someone I saw on a regular basis and knew him very well. Does not change the fact that it was indeed rape.
" 'Real Rape' only happens when there is penile-vaginal penetration"
There is no "Real Rape," because there is only Rape. It doesn't matter if is forced oral, anal, or vaginal sex. It can even involve an object, including fingers and other body parts, being forced into the anus or vagina. Furthermore, penetration doesn't just mean the perpetrator has to be excited. They might be flaccid and only get part of the way through their performance. The fact of the matter is, however slight the penetration, it is rape. It is all rape. As far as my story goes, the details will be revealed in future posts, but sadly, I experienced much of all of the above.
Just to build on this, if a girl says no, fights back, cries, is incapable of answering for herself because she is unconscious, drugged, too young to know what is right or wrong, in a position where the perp holds power in the relationship, it IS Rape. It doesn't matter how she dresses, what the relationship was, what she said, what her sexual history is, if things were intimate but she didn't want to go any further, it IS Rape.
There are so many myths surrounding Rape, but these are a few that circulate on a regular basis. They need to be addressed in order to shine the reality on this crime because it happens too often. Every two minutes someone in America is sexually assaulted. 60% of victims never report to the police and 97% of rapists will NEVER spend a day in jail (rainn.org). Doesn't that make you livid?
The reason this happens, is because of the mythology behind Rape and a culture that perpetually accepts this behavior. I CANNOT accept this. Will you?
As you answer that question, remember that I am not here to hurt anyone in my journey of advocacy, only to help others like me who may not have the same courage.
My next step will be revealing the origin or what I can piece together for you. Thanks to all who continue to read and support me. I am absolutely enamored by the views I have received after day one and only hope to increase the awareness. If anyone wants to help spread the awareness, feel free to share my blog through your social media source.
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