Just "Let it Go"

Would you believe, up until this week, I had only heard the song "Let it Go" only a couple of times? Yea, I know, disappointing right? Well I watched Frozen once, yes once. My son is just now at that age where watching animated movies over and over would be satisfying, so there really wasn't a necessity to watch it more than that one time.

Yes, it was adorable, and yes, the message was great. However, I failed to see the reason why "Let it Go" was such an amazing song.

I have a friend, who swears by the healing power of this song, and I of course rolled my eyes at the thought. As much as I love music, I get kind of turned off by songs that go viral, because they lose their sense of power. This week, "Let it Go," proved me wrong.

I was asked to perform some live music for my church's (Elevation Church) block party for West Michigan's Metro Cruise. It was kind of a last minute request, but there was some joking about me playing "Let it Go." Just to buy into their humor, and also because I knew the kids would love it, I learned the song.

When practicing a song as much as I had to for this, considering I didn't really know it well to begin with, it isn't a surprise that the lyrics started floating around in my head, and I began to relate them to my own life. I almost started crying singing it, because it resonated so strongly with me. Hear me out:

Don't let them in, don't let them see

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know

Well, now they know!"

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door!

I don't care

What they're going to say

Let the storm rage on

Yea.

This pretty much sums up how I felt for the 18 years I was silent. I was convinced by so many people that it was better to just bottle up my trauma and toss it into the deep of an endless sea, never to be retrieved again. I had been putting on the face of someone I really wasn't for so long, and now I am free. It feels great.

I really don't care what people say by telling my story, because I know that I am helping hundreds, maybe thousands of people in the process. That is the true gift of my affliction.

I may not like it when people tell me to "let it go," because to me it sounds like, "forget about it;" however, I know now that those words sometimes means letting go of that fire inside of you...let it out...be free.