BUYER BEWARE!

Victim-blaming.

We all do it. Don't even try and say that you don't, because as humans we are institutionalized to do it. When you hear a story about a campus rape at a party and the first thing you think or say is "Why did she even drink?" or "Why would she dress like that to a party?" it is victim-blaming.  

It is what establishes the mythology behind rape and other forms of assault. It is what causes cases to be dropped even when there is empirical evidence. It is why society is uneducated and in turn scared. It is why survivors are afraid to come forward. It is also why people like me, while being stated as "brave" and "beautiful" for talking openly about my trauma, experience strain in social environments.

Before this week, I never even thought it was possible that my ability to be open about my history would cloud a person's ability to connect with me, but there is a first time for everything. I am not talking about a conversation with a stranger going sour because I say "Hey, guess what happened to me!" We all know I'm not like that. Yet, as my blog has made quite the rounds, there are people I have conversed freely with that I didn't even know read my blog.

I don't sit here and wonder about what people think about me in regards to my history because if I was afraid of judgments, then it would be quite pointless to have been public in sharing my story. Furthermore being a Speakers Bureau Member for RAINN and a victim advocate would just be silly if I truly was concerned about people's beliefs behind my trauma.

I don't care, because every time I open my mouth, I am fighting the continuing mythology behind experiences like mine.

In any case, there are people that have reservations about me because of who I am and what happened, and that is a real shame. There is this sense me being "damaged goods" or "tainted." Well shit! If people think like that, it is no wonder victims self-blame! It is such a dangerous line of thinking when you are friends with someone who is a survivor, so if you think that way, you better check yourself. 

We are not broken. We are not tainted. Our lives may have been morphed or shaped because of our experiences but we do not become our trauma. For a moment this week, I thought:

Maybe it's true....Perhaps I should walk around with a sign that says WARNING: TAINTED MEAT! BUYER BEWARE!!!

Uh no.

I am the way God made me and that's cool. I love being who I am, and frankly going through what I went through kind of certifies me as an official bad-ass. So deal with it.

Newsflash: The World Sucks

As I was browsing through my news feed today, I was brought to tears by a story of a realtor who had gone missing after going to meet a client for a showing. It turns out she was kidnapped and murdered.   I immediately was thinking what many of us all think, "Who is really safe anymore?" It is as if we can't go about our normal days without worrying about what is going to happen to us.

Then I started thinking about all the other news articles that have been brought to attention just the past few months. Child sex trafficking, numerous other sexual assault cases, murder cases, the ISIS murders...the list goes on.

A little bit ago, I wrote a blog post titled Rape vs. Gumdrops: Choosing Reality Over Ignorance. It was met with mostly positive agreement, but there were a few who may have been offended by it. Granted it was an opinion piece, but I believe there was a lot of truth in it.

This post will tell you why.

The world is filled with crime. It isn't something we can necessarily escape, as awful as that sounds, but it isn't as if this is a new thing. Everything that we currently read about in the news has been happening for as long as sin has been in existence, which is a pretty long time. The difference is, whether we like it or not, technology has created a direct line to these crimes.

Think about it, if it weren't for social media, would you be half-aware of the awful stories that pop up every day? Probably not. The kicker is that so many people complain about what they are reading, as if they are surprised.

Newsflash: the world sucks.

You can try and separate yourself as far from reality as possible, but today, awareness is just something that happens. If you want the world to be a better place, you have to accept that awareness, and use it!

Believe me, before I started writing this post, I had a different approach to how I was going to present this information. I was going to say that the World is not getting any better, but then I realized, that isn't necessarily true. I think the World has inhibited the exact same of awfulness for a while, but we just know more about it. Yes, there are things that still shock people, even me (although it takes quite a doozy of a story to do so).

If you think back to the past few months, have you noticed that the stories dealing with sexual assault (including campus rape, molestation, child sex trafficking, etc), have spiked immensely? Think about it.

Now, have you also realized that organizations such as RAINN, Joyful Heart Foundation, and the YWCA have also received more funding because of this? Have you also realized that the government has taken a stand as well with numerous PSA's. Do you know why?

Awareness.

The more you are aware, the more you care.

Which is why from now on instead of wondering why the world is falling apart, think about how blessed we are to understand what is happening around us. If we didn't know, how could we possibly change things? Turning a blind eye has NEVER solved anything. If you are scared of what is out there, you aren't the only one, but just know it is better to know what is out there than be surprised by it.